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科恩发现非常有效的一种方式是，“用非常轻柔缓慢的声音说话。让他听你说，甚至在关键内容上，他会要求你提高音量。”这种方法之所以有效，有两个原因。首先，可以分散对方对压力的关注，使他将注意力转移到真正需要关注的地方，也就是你们正在讨论的内容；其次，双方声音之间的强烈对比也会让他降低音量跟你说话。
4. Restate what he's yelling about.
4. 重新叙述对方大声叫喊的内容。
Sometimes yellers calm down when it's clear you've understood the point they're trying to make, Cohen says. So try repeating back to him what he just shouted, but in your own words: "If I understand you correctly, you're saying we need to…." "If you can get past your gutreaction to being yelled at and listen to the substanceof what your boss is saying, he may be revealing important information," Cohen notes. If so, showing that you've heard it might help reduce the volume.
科恩表示，当你理解了对方试图表达的观点时，他们往往能平静下来，停止叫喊。所以，尝试用自己的语言重新叙述对方叫喊的内容：“如果我没理解错的话，你的意思是说我们需要……”当上司对你叫喊时，如果你能控制住自己的本能反应，用心倾听他要表达的实质内容，你会发现，他可能正在表达重要的信息。如果是这样的话，表明自己理解了对方的真实意图，或许就能让对方偃旗息鼓。
5. Prepare a solution ahead of time.
5. 提前准备解决方案。
If you know in advance that something has happened that's likely to set him off, "don't go into a meeting unprepared. Come up with some ideas about how to address whatever the issue is -- ideally, some creative, surprising ones," says Cohen. "A surprise often throws a yeller off-kilterand makes him stop and consider an approach that may not have occurred to him." Again, when you present these, speak softly. After a while, he may take the hint. (来源：EnglishCN.com)
科恩表示，如果你提前就知道，发生了某件事情会让上司怒火中烧，“那就不要毫无准备地走进会议室。提前想出一些可以解决问题的方案——最好是有创意的、出人意料的方案。意料之外的解决方案能让怒吼的人冷静下来，停止咆哮，开始考虑这个自己没有想到的方法。”当然，在提出这些方案的时候要轻声细语。不久，他就能领会到你的意图。
All that said, Cohen wonders if maybe, when you've been in this job for longer than two months, you'll become as blas about the noise as your more seasoned colleague is. "If you know this is just the way this person reacts to stress, and it doesn't mean anything, why let it bother you?" he says. "Remind yourself that losing control and shouting at people detractsfrom his professional credibility, not yours." True.
总而言之，或许等你在这个岗位工作超过两个月之后，你也会像那位同事一样，对上司的怒吼无动于衷。科恩说：“如果你知道这只是上司应对压力的一种方式，没什么大不了的，为什么还要为此而烦恼？要提醒自己，失去控制，对别人大声叫喊，只会降低他自己的职业信用，并不会影响你的信用。”确实如此。 |
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